103009: Be Tee Dub.

BTW, by the way, being locked up in your room, hidden under two layers of blankets and a sweater for 3 days is not the way to live your life. It felt so good to go outside today. Feel the sun on my [facial] cheeks. Feel the wind go through my hair (and ultimately tangle my hair -___-"). Hear the birds chirping in the distance. Seeing the leaves rustle. Watch a butterfly fly. Probably missing the already under-appreciated natural beauties of nature is what made me get worse yesterday. I believe my walk made me better, up until I threw up. But you know what I mean. I'm too much a fan of walking and nature to be deprived of it for 3 days like that. Never again.

103009: Flashbacks!

Today I was at the store, and someone asked if I was his "girl," which immediately brought back memories. Like when I was at the Long Beach post office with my "ex" and a man said I looked like a good girlfriend, taking care of my "boyfriend" and how my "boyfriend" was such a lucky guy to have me. Like when I was at Barnes and Nobles with my ex best friend and people asked how long we had been going out, when we weren't even going out. Like when I went shopping with my best friend and everyone thought we were a couple. Like when I was at Citrus Plaza with a kid who STILL likes me, a year later, and we would run into people he knew and they would later ask him who his girlfriend was. Why does it always look like I'm the girlfriend? And why is it that I never am? hahah.

Why is it that Michael was my most serious relationship, yet we never came out as official? Just "exclusive"? I always just keep my mouth shut. I have no idea what it's like to be in a relationship.

102809: SICK.

Not sick as in cool. Sick as in ill. Not ill as in cool. Ill as in FEVER/FLU/COUGH/COLD.

So someone tell me why we use all these terms as slang now?

I hate being sick. I haven't been this sick in a whiile. Sniffles and cough are what I'm used to. None of this 102.6°+ shit. None of this... feeling like I'm gonna die, shit!

But my friends came over with enchiladas, soup and pho. Then my parents drove an hour in the middle of the night, on a Wednesday night, to bring me apple juice and food. I have to admit, my family and friends have not once failed me this past week.

I hope I don't forget this feeling. Not the sick feeling, but the feeling of being cared about and cared for. I haven't felt this way in such a long time.. Almost too long..

102209: Updating.

Tonight, I am going to update my Tumblr...

xxchristine.tumblr.com

101409: Normal.

I kind of wish I were normal sometimes. With the whole, sleeping thing. I think I would function perfectly if I could sleep the afternoons away and work at night. The only thing is that most people don't do that. It's not... "normal."

I have no doubt in my mind that I would be a straight A student if I could sleep from the moment I get home from class to whenever. Wake up and just do work until I go to class. Repeat. Perfect formula for straight A's, iff you are Christine Nguyen.

I'm now torn at a point in my life: fuck the status quo and just do what I gotta do (sleep during the day) or try to condition myself to be normal (sleep at night) and do my work at what would be considered a reasonable time. I mean, it'll do great damage to my social life. But God, I would be healthy and doing good in school. It's a tough one, because it'll set me up for the rest of my life...

In the mean time, I JUST now found my motivation at 2:35 in the fuckin' morning, like a week too late. So in 4 hours, I'm going to wake up in full-work mode and just rip holes in all my assignments. Not literally, of course. Figuratively.

It's raining outside. Late night/early morning rain is my favorite. During the day rain, not so much. But tonight, I'm going to stare out my window watching and listening to the rain sing me a lullaby to sleep :). Goodnight, world. Status quo, here I go.

100809: Invasion.

So why exactly are you invading in on my life? You went to my high school, you were my brother's ex friend, and now you want to move to Long Beach? And you're just going to try to leech off of me? Try to meet all my friends, hang out with me, all this business? Excuse you, but no. Stop trying to invade on my life. You would be the biggest mistake ever. You would be the leak and source to everything I once hated in high school. I can't afford for you to do that. I am happy and I don't want anyone to interrupt my happiness.