062209: Blast.

Saturday was a lot at once.
Suicide was my freshman year of high school.
Drugs were my sophomore year of high school.
Education was my junior year of high school.
Sex was my senior year of high school.
If you know me, you'll know which pertained to me and which didn't.

My first year of college was unique. It didn't have a central theme revolving around others. For once, it was about me. Which is probably why I loved it there so much.

My first college summer is a mixture of all the above mentioned high school attributes. For the first time since college started, or since the day I graduated high school, it's taking me more than a couple hours to get over something. More than just even a weak night's sleep.

Both fortunately and unfortunately, I am not who I used to be. I am both proud and ashamed. However, more so than either of the two contrasting feelings, I am a moderate shade of content. I am happy in my own skin. I am comfortable in my own skin. I am smiling and laughing. I am looking at the world through open eyes and listening with open ears. I thoroughly enjoy nature and the arts. I enjoy being educated and taking care of myself. I enjoy the luxury of leisure time. I enjoy the diversity and the aspiring scholars around me. I enjoy the studious college environment and the competitive nature of those in my impacted major. I enjoy the lack of dependency and the reliability of those I seek trust in. I admire the goal-oriented competitors of every impacted major, of every minority, of every doubted teenager and of every working student. I admire the dedication of good professors. I admire the will of those who go above and beyond, not just the bare minimum of 12 units to be a full time student.

I appreciate the new faces and the care they provide. I appreciate the honesty and those open-minded. I appreciate variety and the intelectual conversations. I appreciate a helping hand and the late night study sessions in the library. I appreciate helpful faculty and adequate phone opperators (that RCC heavily lacks). I appreciate the value of a dollar. I appreciate volunteering. I appreciate friends.

But most of all, I appreciate the maturity level. The fact that people can take an unfamiliar concept and accept it as another peron's outlook. The fact that people can articulate their opinions without being offensive, overbearing or preaching. The fact that people can have a civil debate that doesn't conclude in "friends fighting". The fact that people can adapt, compromise and come to a consensus or "agree to disagree". The fact that people here are accepting of others, open-minded and act their age. It's the maturity of college students and responsible students/adults that I miss.

Since my return to San Bernardino, I have come across quite a bit of non-theatrical dramatic pieces. That being what I categorize as "high school drama," however very few of the people involved are in high school. I did not and DO NOT miss "high school drama". I am unable to wait for those are me who are still immature to grow up. I am getting on with my life, regardless. You already know how I feel, what I think and what I want to do. Get on my level or get off the playing field.